My take (based on my own imagination more than anything else) is that the PS4 will be released just in time for Sony to introduce the successor to the Blu-Ray movie format.  It will be the exact same size as DVDs and Blu-Ray discs, and it will be called  ”This is literally the exact same disc we send to the movie theaters.”  Their marketing department might come up with a different name, but the concept will be the same.  In addition to the best possible sound and video resolution, the PS4 will allow, in real time, the characters in the movie to be controlled through various console control devices as a bonus feature for all the nerds out there who need to recreate the Sarlacc Pit sequence in “Return of the Jedi.”  ”No, I get to be be Princess Leia.”  ”But I’m tired of being Jabba the Hut all the time!”  ”You don’t have the body for that space-aged bikini, and we both know it.”  ”I hate you! MOM! MOM!  This isn’t fair!”

But I digress– you heard it here first, for whatever that is worth.

Look here folks, all I’m saying is that if Obamacare gets implemented and all the sick people are rounded up, transported in military vehicles to various community swimming pools, stripped naked, and finally, after a five day wait, diagnosed by underage illegal immigrant veterinary students, then, yes, I’ll go to Costa Rica for any of my future medical care needs. And this has nothing– and let me be very clear on this matter– nothing to do with their clean, safe, and most importantly, no identification required Oxytocin bulk bin stores.

I’ve owned the domain name “newfunny.com” for ten years now.  To get an idea of exactly how long that is in “internet time,” Steve Jobs and Bill Gates weren’t even born in the year 2000.  (note to self: fact check this later– I’m pretty sure at least two of the people on this list are robots who exist outside the conventional time/space continuium.)

Things were quite a bit different back when I started up this site.  For example, I actually built a computer to host the site and connected it to the Internet with a static IP address.  When the website went down I would call up Scott and ask him to reboot the system.  If that didn’t work I would call up Scott and ask him to reboot the system again.  Repeat as needed.

On the software side of the equation things were just as complex.  Designing a website consisted mostly of looking at other people’s websites and stealing their source code.  In addition to knowing HTML, a web designer had to also be familiar with manually transferring files through FTP, configuring file permissions, and, obviously, understanding the complex language of the gnomes that run through the tubes of the world wide web.

Now things are quite different.  Any loser with a credit card and an internet connection can build a website.  And trust me, there are plenty of losers who have done exactly that.  With today’s existing technology, you can simply speak into the microphone of your computer “I want a webpage!” and a flying robot will be dispatched to your house to take care of all the details.

On a slightly serious note, I use WordPress for all my current websites.  It is very easy to set up and use on a daily basis.  You can set up a free account in just a few minutes with a domain such as “mydomainname.wordpress.com” (sure, it isn’t as cool as something like, say, newfunny.com).  Basically, if you can use email and basic word processing, you can have your own blog.

So, a long story short– the C-section went fine, and Isabel had to make a few adjustments like breathing air, receiving nutrition through her mouth, and not being allowed to lounge around all day in that warm soft jacuzzi of a uterus.

Here she is after thirty-two hours of laying in bed receiving drugs designed to induce contractions in her uterus.  I think between the drugs, uncomfortable bed, and half a dozen sensors pressed up against her abdomen Katherine’s overall mood suffered a noticeable decline.  Also, the doctor coming into the room to tell us to come back in a week or so to try again didn’t help anything.

So here is Isabel’s second ultrasound taken in August 2009.  We decided against the three dimensional ultrasound.  Apparently the procedure uses high energy nutrino beams which scientists believe led to the creation of Magnito, high fructose corn syrup, and Sarah Palin. Maybe not, but in the end we decided that we would be able to wait for the three dimensional version that was planning on squirming out in a few months. This high tech image of Katherine’s insides confirmed what we suspected all along: her belly is getting bigger.

One thing that has been surprising is my wife’s mood.  It really hasn’t changed at all– she is as happy as a clam.  I don’t know why we think clams are all that happy to begin with, but, hey, that’s the expression.  Too late to change it now.

So stay tuned for more retroactive baby updates aged in a bath of sarcasm, powdered with a touch of nostalgia, and dressed up in a cute onesie of experience.

A good first step is to find a partner.  Having them be more or less the opposite sex is a good start, but not a strict requirement.  Anyone who has seen “Junior” starring Danny Devito and Arnold Schwarzenegger knows the difficulties of same sex pregnancies.

The next step, ideally, is to build a relationship with your partner.  If time permits, spend some time with this person.  Get to know their likes and dislikes.  Communication is a key aspect to any healthy relationship.  (Keys to an unhealthy relationship:  beheading partners for producing incorrect gender offspring, initiating land wars in Asia, and, of course, an irrational desire to use the metric system.)

Cultural differences also need to be taken into consideration.  For example, most people understand the concept of monogamy, but in several South American countries a common variation is “I won’t sleep with anyone else, unless they have the same first name or hair style as my partner.”  And in Sweden it is perfectly acceptable to be intimate with anyone you meet when entering the incorrect gender’s bathroom of an Ikea store.  If your partner’s culture is significantly different than your own, make sure to take time to learn as much as possible just in case you need to mock them for several hours at local drinking establishment after a heated fight about her religious beliefs barring certain types of ice cream from being consumed in the house on days of the month divisible by seven.