However, the application has led to many complaints from users saying the iPhone is either the wrong shape or that the docking port is way, way too small.
About Omar
Omar Lutfey has been running this website since 2000 (back when having your own website really meant something!). He is currently working as a delivery driver at United Parcel Service, promoting energy conservation on his website at BlackRemote.com, and trying to save the Boulder Kinetics race at BoulderKinetics.com.
Random Quips
- AT&T drops Tiger, NYC:
December 31, 2009
Telecommunication giant AT&T recently announced plans to drop sponsorship of Tiger Woods due to his indefinite break from professional golf and infidelity issues. AT&T has also recently stopped selling certain phones in New York City for unknown reasons. This has led Tiger and NYC to become friends on facebook and send each other messages about how AT&T is little more than a no-talent ass clown and they could both do better.
- Build a Boat:
September 19, 2009
OK, brace yourself for this one– I considered making this a “6 straight jacket” project, but I figured that would just put me on a slippery slope because I would then be tempted to crank it up to “11.” The Foothills Mall in Fort Collins, Colorado, is a fairly typical indoor mall in decline. In recent years it has lost two of the four anchors, and the smaller stores have a vacancy rate of around 30% with more stores leaving at a faster rate than new ones are coming. Located in the center of Fort Collins, this piece of real estate is a prime candidate for redevelopment. But what to build? A large new commercial development on the south side of town has brought in many of the stores that would otherwise be interested in overhauling the Foothills Mall.An interesting fact about Fort Collins is it’s close proximity to the Continental Pole of Inaccessibility in North America. Stay with me, I’m going somewhere with this. First of all, you are probably thinking, “WTF is the Continental Pole of Inaccessibility in North America?” It is the location in North America farthest from any of the oceans, and technically it is located in the far southwest corner of South Dakota. Fort Collins is arguably the closest major town to this point. Sorry Cheyenne, I don’t consider you a major town. Don’t take it personally.
So what, right? Well, anyone who is interested in going on a cruise in Fort Collins has a long way to go before they take their first step on a boat. This can be quite a deterrent for many people when making vacation plans. The latest cruise ships have so many attractions aboard they have literally become a destination in themselves. This kind of brings up the question, “If there is so much to do on the ship, does it need to go anywhere for people to have a good time?” And if the answer to that question is NO, then the next question becomes, “Why don’t we just start building the ships on land and save the costs of making it float, driving it around all over the place, and cleaning barnacles off the hull every few weeks?” So let’s build a luxury cruise ship right on top of the Foothills Mall. Sears and Macy’s can stay where they are now (being anchors and all), but everything in between will look and feel exactly like a luxury cruise ship. The first floor would be rebuilt as a traditional mall that is open to the general public. The upper floors would be accessible only to the people who have booked a cruise. The entire experience of being on a luxury cruise ship would be duplicated– from the compact sleeping arrangements to the elaborate dining halls to the continuous party atmosphere. And being the first land based cruise ship, people from all over the country would travel to Fort Collins to experience the novel type of vacation.
I see this as a win-win-win situation. The city gets a ton of new construction and service jobs, the cruise ship company that builds it gets to show off their fleet to a whole new demographic, and the mall gets a face lift. I’m sure there will be some issues getting permits, financing, and few random people saying, “Let’s just do exactly the same thing we’ve been doing for the last ten years and just hope, for reasons that are not clearly evident, the mall and the surrounding area will suddenly recover through our blindly loyal inaction,” but the everyone else can rally around the new slogan I just thought of: “Let’s Get Our Ship Together!”
- How’s that going, anyway?:
July 25, 2010
Astronomers recently discovered the largest star in the Universe. Called R136a1, it is about 265 times more massive than our Sun. “To put this in perspective,” one scientists closely involved with the discovery explained, “it is the biggest ball of hot gas ever found in one place– even larger than the previous record set in the late 1990′s when leaders of the Republican party all gathered together to hammer out the ‘Contract With America.’” - Use Your Illusions:
June 5, 2003
Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer sent a memo out to all his employees critical of open source software and the companies who support it. “Complicating the situation are companies, like IBM, whose support of Linux has added an illusion of support and accountability.” The memo went on to say, “This, obviously, is in direct conflict with Microsoft’s illusion of support and accountability.”
- Wall Eyed:
October 20, 2003
China’s first man in space said the Earth looked beautiful from his orbiting capsule but he couldn’t find the Great Wall. “I tried to see it,” Yang Liwei told reporters, “but when I booked the flight I could only get an aisle seat. The gentleman next to the window closed the blind so he could take a nap.”
- Road Rage:
November 1, 2003
A car in Southhaven, Mississippi, ran a police checkpoint outside the arena where President Bush was speaking Saturday and rammed the building. “Despite the fact he was inside the structure at the time of the incident,” one republican at the scene pointed out, “the police force and secret service kept the President as secure as a Halliburton recontruction contract.”
- World Peace:
November 22, 2002
Intense riots in Kaduna, Nigeria were sparked by a local newspaper article regarding the upcoming Miss World pageant. The front-page article claimed that if he was alive today, the Islamic prophet Mohamed probably would have chosen a wife from among the contestants. The developing African country won the right to host the competition last year when Miss Nigeria was crowned Miss World 2001. When asked about the situation, the current Miss Nigeria commented, “I’m pretty sure I’m not going to win this year.”
- Fries with that?:
December 16, 2002
Investors are not expecting good news when McDonald’s Corp. updates its earnings outlook on Tuesday. In an effort to increase profits, the world’s largest fast food establishment has announced plans to cut several high-profile employees and increase the number of items on the $1 value meal. Can anyone say “McGrimmace Burgers?”
- Chronic Pain:
August 20, 2003
Hundreds of people in England are being recruited to take Cannabis after operations. In the clinical study, 400 patients will test a Cannabis-based prototype produced by GW Pharmaceuticals to determine the drug’s effectiveness in reducing post-operative pain. The announcement of this study sent the companies stock up 7.5 percent to a two-month high. The stock then put on “Dark Side of the Moon,” ate an entire bag of nacho-flavored Doritos, and spent several hours contemplating the contours on the palm of its hand.
- Asset Management:
May 4, 2009
Facing Chapter 11 bankruptcy, Chrysler announced a new “Employee Pricing Plus Plus,” incentive program Tuesday. A top executive at the automaker explained how the new system works. “Not only will employee pricing be offered for the purchase of all Chrysler, Jeep, and Dodge vehicles, but for a limited time customers will also receive an actual Chrysler employee. Have them clean up the yard, help the kids with their homework, or take the dog for a walk in the afternoons. When we start up our factories again we will have the employee shipped back with no charge to the customer.”
- Ice Pact:
May 5, 2010
Some 40 nations at a high-level climate meeting in Germany have made headway toward a pact to curb global warming. ”This meeting has broken the ice and one cannot overestimate the importance,” Norbert Roettgen said as the three-day conference drew to a close. ”Stop breaking the ice– I live there,” commented a polar bear in attendance. - Hitting the Books:
April 12, 2005
Mike Tyson and Kevin McBride have announced plans for a June 11, 2005 boxing fight in Washington, D.C. Tyson, currently $30 million in debt, commented at the press conference, “after pulverizing this man I’ll have another win under my belt, more respect from the boxing community, and roughly $2 million more debt to add to my collection.”
- Force of Nature:
March 29, 2009
President Bush sent a message to European leaders who opposed the Iraq war saying that “no passing disagreement of governments, no power on Earth will ever divide us.” Shortly afterwards, a spokesperson for the Commander-in-Chief added, “with the exception of the techtonic plates under the Atlantic ocean that have been pushing apart the two continents for the past hundred million years or so.”
- Je ne sais French:
September 4, 2003
In an effort to explain 11,400 more fatalities than usual during the first two weeks of August, officials in France have claimed air pollution and a lack of wind were the actual cause of death during the nation’s hottest summer in 60 years. A new phrase has been circulating in Paris: “Its not the heat, it’s the smog death cloud.”
- Soft Cell:
September 10, 2010
California offically launched its controversial $3 billion stem cell research program. Robert Klien, the chairman of the operation, went on record pledging “public oversight, transparency, accountability and the highest ethical conduct” for the committee. After the news conference, calls for Klien’s resignation were put forward by the Bush administration.
- AT&T drops Tiger, NYC:
