
"Finally-- A web site that makes fun of Richard Simmons!"
Anonymous
| ADDITIONAL STORIES | |
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| ADVENTURES IN SPACE |
| RANDOM STORY HIGHLIGHTS | |
| LETTER TO THE EDITOR |
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Sent by: Rose on June 10, 2004 :
i am looking for your detailed instructions on how to make a watermelon bra. I have to play a south sea islander in a play--and I was going to wear a coconut bra but they dont come in DD. where are these alleged instructions?
Coconuts are only to be used for pre-teens and anorexic supermodels. Complete instructions will be made available when my own personal Kinetics craft is finished. Send a letter to the editor:
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| RANDOM QUIPS | |
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Flights of Fancy
August 13, 2003 Omar Lutfey
The Hong Kong based Blue Box Toys company announced plans to distribute a one-foot-tall GI Joe doll of the president called "Elite Force Aviator: George W. Bush-- U.S. President and Naval Aviator." A spokesperson for the company commented, "We are excited to release this new doll, especially after the marketing department killed plans for a 'National Guard Deserter-- you can't spell AWOL without a Dubya' childrens toy."
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Undertaking In Iraq
July 1, 2003 Omar Lutfey
President Bush recently declared that rebuilding Iraq will be a "massive and long-term undertaking." The White House Press Secretary elaborated, "To put this in perspective, it is way more important than rebuilding our nation's economy, but slightly less important than rebuilding the President's re-election war chest."
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Music Notes
December 16, 2002 Omar Lutfey
Singer David Lee Roth is suing his former Van Halen band mates. The suit alleges members of the band robbed him of royalty money through a 1996 contract with Warner Bros. When asked about the legal proceedings, Roth said, "Woooo! I'm back in the spotlight, and ready to ROCK!!!"
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In Television News
January 20, 2003 Omar Lutfey
Fox announced plans today for yet another high-profile reality show. Twenty teenage female contestants will compete against each other for a year long contract to help promote maxi pads, tampons, and other feminine hygiene products. When asked how long this reality show theme can go on, one high ranking network official replied, "While the general public has several options with this genre, we strongly believe we have a hit concept with 'American Midol.'"
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