
"Reading newfunny.com often times makes pop come out my nose."
Anonymous
![]() |
![]() |
| ADDITIONAL STORIES | |
| Most Recent: | Most Read: |
| ADVENTURES IN SPACE |
| RANDOM STORY HIGHLIGHTS | |
| LETTER TO THE EDITOR |
|
Sent by: Rose on June 10, 2004 :
i am looking for your detailed instructions on how to make a watermelon bra. I have to play a south sea islander in a play--and I was going to wear a coconut bra but they dont come in DD. where are these alleged instructions?
Coconuts are only to be used for pre-teens and anorexic supermodels. Complete instructions will be made available when my own personal Kinetics craft is finished. Send a letter to the editor:
|
| RANDOM QUIPS | |
|
In Exotic Motorcycle News
January 8, 2003 Omar Lutfey
Dodge recently unveiled a new prototype motorcycle. Sitting on four wheels and sporting a 10 cylinder Viper engine, the machine can accelerate from 0 to 60 in 2.5 seconds and has an estimated top speed of 400 miles per hour. A slightly less impressive statistic was recorded, however, when the vehicle had to stop for refueling midway through the quarter mile.
|
Tex-Ass Rangers
June 26, 2003 Omar Lutfey
The U.S. Supreme Court declared unconstitutional a Texas "homosexual conduct" law which imposes a $500 fine for same-sex couples who engage in oral and anal sex. When asked about President Bush's views on the matter, soon-to-be ex-White House Spokesman Ari Fleischer commented, "The President is actually quite pleased with this decision. Now nobody on Capitol Hill can complain after the next election when all those Democrats in Congress take it up the ass."
|
|
Twenty-five
November 6, 2002 Omar Lutfey
The non-traditional action series "24" is back for another season on the Fox network. The first season documented a single twenty-four hour period of the main character's life that included, among other things, foiling an assassination attempt on a presidential candidate. The first ten episodes of this season are focusing on Kiefer Sutherland enjoying a decent night's sleep.
|
Better than the maze
July 25, 2006 Omar Lutfey
Having a cigarette while drinking may reduce the effects of the alcohol, scientists suggest - but the tests have only been carried out on rats so far. The lead scientist explained, "we did everything within reason to create a nice bar scene for the rats, but when all was said and done it wasn't much more than a little hole in wall-- literally."
|
| THE NEWSLETTER | |
| Well, you've gotten down to the bottom of the page, so you must be enjoying yourself here at newfunny.com. Why not sign up for the official newfunny.com newsletter? It is run through TOPICA.COM, so it is easy to manage, and best of all, its free! So, to get all the wonderful content of this site delivered right into your Inbox, just type in your email address and click on the "submit" button. |
|

