I have no idea why, but on Thursday I had 49 page views on my newfunny.com site from the United Arab Emirates.
The clock on my computer says 7:18 p.m. and I am either A) putting on my tuxedo getting ready to go to a high-society masquerade party or B) watching Team Unizoomi in my pajamas with my children reading my WordPress year in review web statistics email. I spent countless weekends perfecting my Odo mask for the Northern Colorado Trekkies Association’s annual masquerade party only to be un-invited after making an ill-received joke at their Christmas party that Scott Backula was doing great as the star of “American Restoration.” Needless to say, 2012 turned out to be yet another year I didn’t get invited to a masquerade party.
For those readers who prefer visual references, here is Odo, the security chief in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine:
Scott Backlua in Star Trek: Enterprise:
And Rick Dale from the History Channel’s “American Restoration.”
So, getting back to my web stats for my newfunny.com website, I am happy to report my blog received roughly 17,000 page views this year. If you don’t believe me, anyone can check out my stats page at:
While I’m very happy with the results, there are a few situations that seem to have inflated these numbers a bit. One of the biggest reasons people come to my website is because if you are looking on Google for images of The Dukes of Hazzard one of the images from my website shows up on the first page of the search. I don’t know how many people that click on the image actually stay to read the story, but it is one of my favorite stories that uses a popular television show to demonstrate the abuse of power from the war on drugs. I know, it sounds really serious, but it is funny too.
Another reason I’m getting more page views is because I wrote about the movies “Zach and Miri Make a Porno” and “Orgazmo” and now people who search for porn movies get sent to my website instead. I’m sure I’m only getting 0.000000001% of the porn traffic, so I don’t think the porn industry really needs to view me as a threat.
Rounding out the top five stories on my website are my Sci-fi themed wedding invitations (which we did actually send out to everyone) and my Sci-fi themed thank you letters (which Katherine wouldn’t let me send out).
While I didn’t make any big changes to the layout of the website this year, I did find a nice plug-in that shows a list of the most popular stories on the upper right hand side of the page. I’m still disappointed that my Iron Chef Amsterdam story and the UPS/Lord of the Rings story aren’t at the top of the list. If I was a little more motivated I would go into the WordPress database and rig it so they showed up higher. But I guess the public has spoken.
So that about wraps it up for this year. And my resolution for 2013 is to finally get invited to a masquerade party. Sci-fi themed or otherwise.
I upgraded to version 3.4 on WordPress this weekend, and I see that I can now set the site up so that readers can subscribe to get updates to my site through their email accounts. I signed myself up for it and it seems quite simple. Just type in your email address on the top right of the page and it will send you an email to confirm your status. Then check your email and click on the button to confirm. I don’t think they could make it any easier.
And see– you can even see pictures and other media I post on a given page! Woohoo!
I was looking through my wordpress admin page and I noticed more than 1,000 spam responses in the comments section. By default I don’t post any of these to my site, but just for fun I looked through some of the stuff that people are trying to get on my site. About half of the comments were in, and I’m just kind of guessing here because there were a bunch of backwards Rs and other symbols I didn’t recognize, Russian or some similar language. If these spammers are so smart, can’t they figure out only to spam sites that at least use the same character set?
While I was messing around with my website setup, I thought I would give the “automagically post this to my facebook page” plugin another shot. I tried a few months ago but wasn’t able to get it to work. Here goes attempt number 2. Engage!
So I updated to WordPress 3.0 to see what bells and whistles have been added to the new release. And, just for fun, I decided to give the new default theme a spin. So who is the person walking through the trees? I’m not exactly sure, but I think he is following me from page to page. If he could check for spelling errors and broken links that would be great. (get on that WordPress guys)
After spending quite a bit of time getting all my websites organized, I thought I would spend a few minutes explaining what actually goes into running a website like this.
I’ve owned the domain name “newfunny.com” for ten years now. To get an idea of exactly how long that is in “internet time,” Steve Jobs and Bill Gates weren’t even born in the year 2000. (note to self: fact check this later– I’m pretty sure at least two of the people on this list are robots who exist outside the conventional time/space continuium.)
Things were quite a bit different back when I started up this site. For example, I actually built a computer to host the site and connected it to the Internet with a static IP address. When the website went down I would call up Scott and ask him to reboot the system. If that didn’t work I would call up Scott and ask him to reboot the system again. Repeat as needed.
On the software side of the equation things were just as complex. Designing a website consisted mostly of looking at other people’s websites and stealing their source code. In addition to knowing HTML, a web designer had to also be familiar with manually transferring files through FTP, configuring file permissions, and, obviously, understanding the complex language of the gnomes that run through the tubes of the world wide web.
Now things are quite different. Any loser with a credit card and an internet connection can build a website. And trust me, there are plenty of losers who have done exactly that. With today’s existing technology, you can simply speak into the microphone of your computer “I want a webpage!” and a flying robot will be dispatched to your house to take care of all the details.
On a slightly serious note, I use WordPress for all my current websites. It is very easy to set up and use on a daily basis. You can set up a free account in just a few minutes with a domain such as “mydomainname.wordpress.com” (sure, it isn’t as cool as something like, say, newfunny.com). Basically, if you can use email and basic word processing, you can have your own blog.
After spending about five times as long as I originally planned, I have my website transferred to a new hosting service. All of my posts seemed to have survived the trip, but some of the images seemed to have gone off to never never land. I’m working on tracking those down.