
"I like to read newfunny.com as I put on my tight beige pants."
Eric Estrata
| ADDITIONAL STORIES | |
| Most Recent: | Most Read: |
| ADVENTURES IN SPACE |
| RANDOM STORY HIGHLIGHTS | |
| LETTER TO THE EDITOR |
|
Sent by: Rose on June 10, 2004 :
i am looking for your detailed instructions on how to make a watermelon bra. I have to play a south sea islander in a play--and I was going to wear a coconut bra but they dont come in DD. where are these alleged instructions?
Coconuts are only to be used for pre-teens and anorexic supermodels. Complete instructions will be made available when my own personal Kinetics craft is finished. Send a letter to the editor:
|
| RANDOM QUIPS | |
|
In Political News
August 15, 2002 Omar Lutfey
Speaking at the foot of Mount Rushmore, President Bush took time out of his four-week working vacation to criticize congress on the issue of Homeland Security. "The Democrats in the Senate are intentionally limiting... [LOOKS AT TV MONITOR] Whoa, hey, look at this-- my head is the same size as those up on the side of the mountain! [LOOKS UP AT MOUNTAIN] But my head is smaller, and they are made out of rocks! Get Cheney over here-- he has to see this... I don't care, get him out of the bunker. He has to see this."
|
In Box Office news
September 12, 2002 Omar Lutfey
The low-budget, independently produced film, "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" reached the number one spot for box office revenue this week. After being released in April, the feel-good romantic comedy steadily climbed the charts-- beating out several movies featuring high-profile actors and state-of-the-art special effects. Taking note of the unexpected success, Hollywood recently green-lighted a similar script involving an engaged couple facing ethnic differences, family conflicts, and time-traveling aliens (played by Julia Roberts and Denzel Washington) who employ their arsenal of futuristic weapons to disrupt the wedding.
|
|
Burning Issues
October 4, 2002 Omar Lutfey
Betty Bullock started smoking when she was seventeen and was diagnosed with lung cancer that has since spread to her liver. This week a jury awarded her $28 billion in damages after she sued Philip Morris for fraud and negligence. As a result of this court action, millions of people across the country are reconsidering the economic impact of quitting smoking.
|
Adding Fuel to the Fire
February 6, 2003 Omar Lutfey
After finishing his State of the Union speech, the President took a moment to respond to concerns regarding the nation's policy towards North Korea. "We can launch an attack the minute we finish building that battalion of hydrogen-powered armored vehicles."
|
| THE NEWSLETTER | |
| Well, you've gotten down to the bottom of the page, so you must be enjoying yourself here at newfunny.com. Why not sign up for the official newfunny.com newsletter? It is run through TOPICA.COM, so it is easy to manage, and best of all, its free! So, to get all the wonderful content of this site delivered right into your Inbox, just type in your email address and click on the "submit" button. |
|