OK– I’m going to confess something here. I didn’t really write all these posts on April 4, 2009. In my ongoing effort to get everything I’ve written on to my newfunny website, I imported the blog I started on my myspace page two years ago. I apologize in advance for any problems this may cause to my loyal readers.
I’ve been a UPS driver for 3 years now– not quite long enough to get my own route. Basically I cover other driver’s routes when they are sick or on vacation. Some customers are rather attached to their drivers.
“You aren’t our regular/usual driver.”
“No, I’m the irregular/unusual one.”
One of the other swing drivers told me that one, and it seems to make people laugh. And since I deliver to new people all the time, I get alot of practice. My other favorite line goes something like this:
“That’s a nice shirt/pair of shoes/lavishly decorated tierra”
“They don’t let me wear anything pretty to work– its all brown, brown, brown!”
Another good aspect of my job is that I can practice the same joke on 50 different people in a day so I can get the timing and wording just right.