"Newfunny.com is funny even when I'm NOT stoned."
Anonymous
Hello, my name is Omar Lutfey-- yes, I run this web site, and here is some random
information about who I am.
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| Let's give Omar a big hand for putting together such a wonderful website! | On most days I'm not wearing a tuxedo, but when the situation warrants, I can suit up just fine. |
I'm a delivery driver in Northern Colorado. What does this mean?
First of all, I'm pretty active since I'm running around town in a big brown truck 45 hours a week. I have a nice tan, except for the fact that my feet are totally white from my socks. I'm in good shape, except my love for Taco Bell means I have a few extra pounds to deal with. Finally, I have a habit of droning on about work related stories, but I'm currently getting counseling and electro-shock therapy to keep it under control.
I'm a writer. Not the kind that had made any money, but I keep plugging away at it. My goal is to get one of my stories on Saturday Night Live or Mad TV.
What else do I do? I'm currently building an entry for next years Kinetics Race in Boulder. Once I get my hands on some welding equipment and some industrial grade marine Styrofoam I'll be 80 percent finished.
I also like to play pool, ride my motorcycle, and meet new people. I'm very outgoing when I'm working, but more quiet and reserved when I go out socially. For some reason the UPS uniform gives me special powers-- I can park where ever I want, ask random questions of total strangers, and of course run to the front of the line at any business without anyone getting mad. I want to meet someone who has goals in life, but can also kick back and enjoy themselves. Someone strong enough to stand on their own but willing to ask for help when needed.
First of all, I'm pretty active since I'm running around town in a big brown truck 45 hours a week. I have a nice tan, except for the fact that my feet are totally white from my socks. I'm in good shape, except my love for Taco Bell means I have a few extra pounds to deal with. Finally, I have a habit of droning on about work related stories, but I'm currently getting counseling and electro-shock therapy to keep it under control.
I'm a writer. Not the kind that had made any money, but I keep plugging away at it. My goal is to get one of my stories on Saturday Night Live or Mad TV.
What else do I do? I'm currently building an entry for next years Kinetics Race in Boulder. Once I get my hands on some welding equipment and some industrial grade marine Styrofoam I'll be 80 percent finished.
I also like to play pool, ride my motorcycle, and meet new people. I'm very outgoing when I'm working, but more quiet and reserved when I go out socially. For some reason the UPS uniform gives me special powers-- I can park where ever I want, ask random questions of total strangers, and of course run to the front of the line at any business without anyone getting mad. I want to meet someone who has goals in life, but can also kick back and enjoy themselves. Someone strong enough to stand on their own but willing to ask for help when needed.
Click on the pictures to see full size image
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AUSTRIA Here I am in a small
town in the middle of the Alps.
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BELGIUM This is the
train station in Antwerp, Belgium. That little guy in the middle
is me.
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BOULDER Want to know
where I live? This is a close up of the metal light fixture thingie
on the ceiling of my apartment.
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FRANCE This is the
"back yard" at one of the many Chateaux found in France.
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GERMANY
You have to love the band "Right Said Fred"--at least
according to the laws in Berlin.
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HAWAII
I spent a week in Hawaii in March 1998. I can't think of very
many things that are more relaxing than watching the sun set while
sitting in the hot tub.
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INDIANAPOLIS My friend
Tina is showing off my car as we get ready to leave the infield
if the Indianapolis Motor Speedway to head back to Colorado.
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LUXEMBOURG
I visited Luxembourg in January 1999. Not a bad little country.
They seem to like to build a lot of bridges.
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PARIS My sister
and her extensive shadow are posing in front of the main entrance
to the Louvre in Paris.
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In addition to the newfunny.com website, I also have put together several other websites for various causes.
My work includes the following sites:
Habitat For Humanity, Boulder, Colorado
In addition to working at the Habitat construction site (when I can get up that early), I am also in charge of running the web site and taking action photographs with my digital camera.
Lutfey Designs
This site demonstrates what services I provide through my web design company. If you are in need of a small to medium sized web site, please check it out.
Relogreeley.com
Anyone interested in Real Estate in Northern Colorado should check out this site.
| ADDITIONAL STORIES | |
| Most Recent: | Most Read: |
| ADVENTURES IN SPACE |
| RANDOM STORY HIGHLIGHTS | |
| LETTER TO THE EDITOR |
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Sent by: Rose on June 10, 2004 :
i am looking for your detailed instructions on how to make a watermelon bra. I have to play a south sea islander in a play--and I was going to wear a coconut bra but they dont come in DD. where are these alleged instructions?
Coconuts are only to be used for pre-teens and anorexic supermodels. Complete instructions will be made available when my own personal Kinetics craft is finished. Send a letter to the editor:
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| RANDOM QUIPS | |
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Free Bird
July 1, 2003 Omar Lutfey
Pop singer Rachel Farris and her independent record label are embedding mini-CDs in the lids of 4.8 million soft drink cups to be distributed at movie theaters and amusement parks. One music executive, who asked to remain anonymous, commented on this unique promotion, "As an industry, we want to send the message that we can give away millions of digitally stored copies of popular music, but if anyone else tries it, we will sue the pants off them."
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In School News
September 6, 2002 Omar Lutfey
Parents in Aspen, Colorado claim that plans to teach yoga violate federal rulings that bar religion in the classroom. The district's yoga program was developed after September 11 to help make children feel safer in school. When questioned about this controversy, President Bush responded, "Before we let this issue create a division among us, we need to all sit down and listen to what the little green Muppet fella has to say."
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More War News
October 9, 2002 Omar Lutfey
In a report sent to the Senate Intelligence Committee, the CIA claims the probability of Iraq initiating an unprovoked attack on the United States was "very low." Responding to the situation, President Bush is now insisting that any U.N. weapon inspection team include both Jerry Fallwell and Poly Shore.
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Monkey Business
May 22, 2003 Omar Lutfey
Michael Jackson was briefly hospitalized after suffering what a Jackson family lawyer called a "reaction to lawsuits." A Jackson family doctor, speaking on the condition of anonymity, reclassified the condition as a "reaction to monkey feces."
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