Pain in the ass

A recently completed study in the United Kingdom discovered a link between alcohol consumption and rectal cancer. The research team found people who consume more than fourteen drinks a week are three times more likely than non-drinkers to develop the disease. The report came with the following warning, “if you go out to your local pub on a Friday night, drink fourteen shots of tequila, pass out, and wake up in a strange bed with one or more unknown male partners and a sore behind, you might have rectal cancer.”