RATS!

State and federal wildlife biologists are teaming up to eliminate rats who have, for the past 200 years, overrun a large Alaskan island uninhabited by humans. The island, known to locals as “Rat Island,” will face a multi-pronged attack that will include the use of a blood thinners to make the rats bleed to death. One official close to the operation commented, “I’m sure we can get people to live there when we can change the name from ‘Rat Island’ to ‘Dead Rat Island.'”