
"Reading newfunny.com often times makes pop come out my nose."
Anonymous
To see pictures of places he has visited, please visit Omar's Travel Page
'Captain Janeway' hails from London,England and spends a large amount of
time hiding from rain, tax officials and the 'men in black hats'.
She has traveled extensively throughout the world, even spending
time in Venice Beach California, for which she is now receiving
counseling. Her interests include crashing the home computer, watching Voyager, and trying to find time to be more than a fictional character. When not writing she may be found wandering the streets, trying to remember her own name.
Ertok is an Evil Alien Overlord who in addition to "helping"
run this web site is busy making plans to take over the world. His
hobbies include intergalactic travel, rigging the office coffee
machine to run on cold fusion, and mocking
the articles found in Scientific American and Maxim.| ADDITIONAL STORIES | |
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| ADVENTURES IN SPACE |
| RANDOM STORY HIGHLIGHTS | |
| LETTER TO THE EDITOR |
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Sent by: Rose on June 10, 2004 :
i am looking for your detailed instructions on how to make a watermelon bra. I have to play a south sea islander in a play--and I was going to wear a coconut bra but they dont come in DD. where are these alleged instructions?
Coconuts are only to be used for pre-teens and anorexic supermodels. Complete instructions will be made available when my own personal Kinetics craft is finished. Send a letter to the editor:
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| RANDOM QUIPS | |
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In School News
September 6, 2002 Omar Lutfey
Parents in Aspen, Colorado claim that plans to teach yoga violate federal rulings that bar religion in the classroom. The district's yoga program was developed after September 11 to help make children feel safer in school. When questioned about this controversy, President Bush responded, "Before we let this issue create a division among us, we need to all sit down and listen to what the little green Muppet fella has to say."
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RATS!
December 2, 2007 Omar Lutfey
State and federal wildlife biologists are teaming up to eliminate rats who have, for the past 200 years, overrun a large Alaskan island uninhabited by humans. The island, known to locals as "Rat Island," will face a multi-pronged attack that will include the use of a blood thinners to make the rats bleed to death. One official close to the operation commented, "I'm sure we can get people to live there when we can change the name from 'Rat Island' to 'Dead Rat Island.'"
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In Business News
June 28, 2002 Omar Lutfey
Xerox recently admitted to overstating revenue by 1.9 billion over the past 5 years. Attempts to destroy potentially damaging information proved unsuccessful when the copier, instead of mangling documents beyond recognition, produced clean and easy-to-read duplicates.
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Pie in the Sky
May 12, 2004 Omar Lutfey
In light of the recent Space Shuttle disaster, officials at NASA are considering sending an unmanned robot into space to perform maintenance on the fourteen year old Hubble Telescope. "The idea came to us," one project manager reported, "after the local Chuck E Cheese closed down and the entire animatronic Pizza Time Band became unemployed."
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